A WOMAN IN CHINA claims to be the great-great-great-etc granddaughter of the Monkey King.
She even has a lock of the divine ape’s hair as proof. Scientists are running tests on it.
I read this article on a Mainland China news website with great interest. Who knew it was even possible to be a descendant of a fictional character?!
The next time I fill in a China visa form, I shall say that Snow White was my mother and the Hulk was my dad.
(The woman declined to give media her real name)
By coincidence this columnist has just finished writing a book about the Monkey King. The legend came about by accident.
Chinese monk Xuanzang came back from India in AD 645 with a report about Hindu monkey god Hanuman.
His friends thought he had toured India with a magic talking ape, and the misheard version was immortalized in the AD 1592 fairy tale Journey to the West.
(The true story of the monkey king is book five in this Scholastic book series, written by Luther Tsai and yours truly.)
I was impressed that scientists from Fudan University in Shanghai agreed to analyze the woman’s lock of simian god hair.
They will no doubt compare its DNA with the DNA of all the other magic talking monkey gods they have on file.
It's funny how many people believe in fictional characters.
My wife used to live around the corner from 221B Baker Street in London, address of Sherlock Holmes, and told me the people there (a bank) gets loads of letters for him.
I expect the bankers write back saying: “Sherlock can’t take your case right now because he is frolicking with his friends Cinderella and Superman in Cloud Cuckoo Land which is probably where you should be too.”
When I asked a psychologist for a comment, she pointed me to a chat-room for shy people called www.socialanxietysupport.com.
In one post, a Singaporean woman named Nee says she has noticed that fictional people are sexier-looking than real people.
Now there’s an inexplicable observation.
Shou Nagatsuki of Nagano agreed, posting: “I find 2D anime boys hot.”
Er, this may be true, Nagatsuki, but it strikes me that if you marry a 2D boy, you may find he has shortcomings in the adequacy department when it comes to conjugal relations. Just sayin’.
US female Tahuti, 37, then joined in the conversation to explain that these days she only ever flirts with fictional people.
“They’re safe,” she writes. “And they don’t let you down.”
Hmm, I wonder how many cats this woman has?
c) Over 100?
In the past, China border officials used to demand every visitor fill in a health form, which another official would take without cross-checking against your passport.
I often gave the names of fictional characters or celebrities. I’ve been the Pope, Donald Duck, all four Beatles, and Mickey Mouse.
“Welcome to China, Mr Mouse.”
“I am delighted to visit your wonderful country, Mr Servile Peon.”
Smiles all round.
Those were the days.