Sure. Or it could be a sign you’ve been reading Asian newspapers, I thought.
In India, for example, stories about people who walk in on their own funerals are so common that priests surely now build it into their eulogies: “We will now have a moment of silence to allow the recently deceased to enter the room and family members to gasp and fall over. Amen.”
One report in the set was about a young woman named Ganga Devi who ran off with a lover.
After several days, she read her own name in the newspaper, not as a missing person, but as a murder victim. Her corpse had been positively identified by family members, it said.
Ganga had accidentally made the perfect escape, hooray!
But then she took another look at her new lover, a friend of her father’s, and decided to call home, news reports said.
The guy must have looked like a hideous, repulsively wrinkled member of the Rolling Stones, or, to put it another way, a member of the Rolling Stones.
I can imagine the phone conversation she had with her brother, who answered the phone.
GANGA: “Hi, this is Ganga. How are things at home?”
BROTHER: “Fine, except for the fact that you’re dead. Wait.”
Another link in the email led to a report about a young man who disappeared.
His parents got the police to round up his six best friends, charge them with murder and put them on death row.
Then the boy returned from a jaunt.
Let this be a lesson to all males. CALL HOME.
Imagine if he’d returned later, when it was too late.
MOTHER: “You should have phoned. We had all those people killed.”
BOY: “Sorry, Ma, I will next time. What’s for dinner?”
The frequency with which corpses are misidentified makes me wonder how cops identify bodies in India.
POLICE: “We found a corpse in the woods. It has two arms, two legs and one head.”
PARENT: “Oh no! So did my daughter!” [Falls to floor, weeping.]
That day turned out to be what a newspaper columnist (technical term: “lazy good-for-nothing”) would describe as a busy morning.
Just before lunch, another email arrived. The same reader had found yet another “dead person alive” story, this time from China.
A street vendor in Hubei province was said to have died of harassment by officials. A huge protest was organized around his corpse.
Two hours of angry shouting followed. And then the “dead man” threw off the sheet covering him and said: “It’s so hot. I can’t bear it any more.”
His workmates glared crossly at him for spoiling the scam.
They should have smiled, fallen to their knees and said: “Hallelujah, he’s risen from the dead!”
Then it really would have seemed like an earthshaking event of great religious significance, such as the coming of the Last Days or even the launch of a new iPhone. Amen.
This name doesn't really work for me..
This shows the importance of making sure that apostrophe is in the right place
Business people just ain't tactful
Something appropriate about this
The only way to go