A MAN WHO committed suicide recently demanded a Gangnam Style funeral. Sok Udom, 24, of Prey Nob, Sihanoukville, Cambodia, left a note saying he wanted “Gangnam Style instead of funeral music", the Cambodia Herald reported. I don’t envy the presiding minister, who’s going to have a tough time getting a suitably solemn mood.
But it got me thinking: what if he had been a Queen fan, and his favorite song was Another One Bites The Dust?
“And another one gone, and another one gone, another one bites the dust.”
With help from readers, here are the five other worst songs to play at funerals.
5) Highway to Hell;
4) Burn, Baby Burn;
3) Staying Alive;
2) Going Underground.
And the worst song to play at a funeral, particularly if the deceased is female?
1) Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead.
THERE ARE now TWO viral videos of bad-tempered Chinese official Yan Linkun smashing up airport gate facilities after missing his plane.
Second (below) one is closer and has audio.
I withdraw my previous objections to surveillance cameras. Now I love them. Indeed, I believe EVERYONE should wear always-on dashboard cams on their heads.
Whenever you get into an argument, you just press rewind. They’d be life-savers for married men. Finally technology gives us the Total Recall Superpower that women already have.
NOW THAT almost everyone has at least one best friend who he or she knows only through the web, it’s time to introduce the concept of Internet Marriage, says reader Lift Lurker. “It would be a marriage free of snoring and the toilet seat up/down problem,” he said.
Lucy Pink agreed, adding: “Since the two people never meet, even heterosexual guys who think gay marriages are icky and disgusting can gay-marry each other to show male solidarity.” Great idea. I shall send Mr Obama a ring later today.
But Liftie (known as Otis in the newspapers) warned that it was still possible to misjudge an internet friendship. One of the people he knew through websites for a long time eventually said: “You are the best friend I’ve ever had.”
Liftie was shocked: “I thought of him as a sort of electronic pet, like a Tamagotchi.”
A teenager of my acquaintance pointed out that internet marriages already exist. “People list their best friend on Facebook as the person they’re married to,” she said. She’s been married six times, and she’s only 13.
(My child and her buddy)
Another of my friends loved the idea of Internet Marriage because “it would be more hygienic”.
She’s Singaporean. Enough said.
AUSTRALIAN BILLIONAIRE Clive Palmer revealed that he has commissioned Asian shipbuilders to make him an exact copy of the good ship Titanic. I can see this ending in tears. “Why are we sinking?” “We copied everything, sir, including the big hole in the side.”
A MAN WHO started his own cobra farm annoyed his neighbors when the snakes escaped. I expect snake-farmer Cai Yong doesn’t expect to win many Good Neighbor awards just now.
When journalist Tom Lasseter visited Xianling Village in Hunan, China, he was shown a government leaflet telling him that it was safe now, but it featured some worrying math: “A total of 160 snakes escaped,” it said. “Of these, 159 were caught and one was killed. A few may still be at large.”
THE KIDS AT church and I had a brilliant time making music the other day using just three things we found lying around:
1) a cardboard box,
2) a set of plastic cups, and
3) a rock group.
I put the resultant video (much of it filmed by wobbly-handed young people) on Facebook and got such a great reaction that I am sharing it here.
If you have a horror of children and/ or faith groups (yes, this means you, Jason), DO NOT watch the following. Sentimentalists ONLY.
AND THIS funny video from the French community was found by Grandpa—definitely worth a smile:
I WILL BE at the Hotel Indigo in Shanghai over the weekend. Pop in and say hello if you’re around.