YOUR HUMBLE NARRATOR was thrilled to turn up at Dymocks bookshop in IFC yesterday to find a long queue of bookbuyers stretching way out into the corridor. I was signing copies of my new book solidly for 90 minutes, and we sold most of the stock. Thank you SO MUCH. I’ll arrange an event early next year where we can count the money—and give it all away. (If anyone has a pic of the actual queue, which I can send to my agent, can you send it to me?)
Several people asked what the book was about. I particularly enjoyed this review from a young reader, which answers that question:
A NOOK edition has just been published.
There’s a few copies left of the printed book, if you want a physical copy of the first edition, click here.
And the Kindle one is available for easy download.
IN OTHER NEWS…
OFFICIALS IN South Africa want to change the name of Thighs of a Virgin High School, it was reported last week.
The education minister said that several oddly-named schools need revising in this modern, globalized world.
Other educational establishments on the list include Pickpocket Primary School, Drink Primary School and Prison Primary School.
Citizens and staff are outraged, complaining that the changes would “erase Zulu history”.
They explained that Thighs of a Virgin High School, north of Durban, was named after a man named Chief Bongizwe Alpheus Nhleko, who was said to have remarkably long, thin, smooth, attractive, thighs, “widely admired” around the country. I am not making this up.
What do parents think? I wouldn’t fancy sending my kids to a school called Thighs of a Virgin.
But I bet a lot of dads visit on open day.
A MIRACLE dog in China can do maths. Potato the Dog can add, subtract, multiply and divide, says owner Lu Zesheng of Jiangsu Province, according to a link sent in by a reader.
In front of witnesses, Mr Lu asked Potato: “How much is 3.44 plus 3.56?” Potato, aged two, barked seven times.
Mr Lu then asked: “What is the number on the side of China’s first aircraft carrier?” Potato barked 16 times. This indicates the dog stays awake during patriotic news announcements, which is the biggest miracle of all.
A MAN HAS launched a brand of shoes for atheists. The words “Darwin Loves” are embossed into the soles. David Bonney, a man from Dublin, told the Irish Times: “Our first idea was to make Christian shoes with water in the soles, so you could walk on water, but it didn’t really sit with our own beliefs. So we decided to do something about what we believed in, which was nothing.”
Do you think someone should tell Mr Bonney that Darwin was not an atheist? The great man vacillated between belief and agnosticism, and on Sunday mornings, when his wife went to church, Darwin went walking in the woods, seeing nature as God’s “other” holy book.
TALKING OF Christianity, do NOT plan to go to the mall on December 22. That’s reserved for Mayans, none of whom have even haven’t STARTED their Christmas shopping yet.
POLICE IN Canada are sending Christmas cards to gangsters, ex-cons and drug-dealers, with a message: “Which list will you be on next year?” You know, I never realized Santa’s famous lists of people who are “naughty” or “nice” actually had legal status.
Which leads me to this Christmas joke sent in by a teenage reader:
Q: Why is Santa Claus so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
THE WORLD’S biggest movable object recently travelled from Hong Kong through the Indian Ocean to London, the radio news said last week. It was a reference to a new ship called the Marco Polo. Surely the world’s biggest movable object is Kim Jung-Un’s ego?
WISE THOUGHT: You grow up aiming to be a good example. And then you get to the point where you think, well, okay, at least I can be terrible warning.