Men shouldn’t read this. Actually, neither should women
YOU MAY recall this columnist mentioning a correspondent who is keen on having more than the usual number of wives (ie, one) and is thus checking out his options to settle in Asia—Malaysia being his current first choice.
I was wondering how to discourage him (for his own sake) when I received just what I needed in the shape of a news report forwarded by Hong Kong reader Esther Cheong.
A man who upset his wife was remotely made impotent, a court heard in Zimbabwe heard last week. Tichaona Musavengana, 43, told the judge that he had done absolutely nothing to upset his wife, other than bringing home an extra wife as a general upgrade to his marital situation. Go figure.
His wife, whose name was Beauty Mapfumo, pledged revenge. Muhahahaha.
Shortly afterwards, her husband found he had mysteriously acquired an extreme case of erectile dysfunction, which basically means he ended up with the libido (no, that’s not a board game, look it up) of overcooked tagliatelli.
The “cursed” man told the judge he has been to numerous doctors in Harare, both modern and traditional, but nothing has, er, revived his ambitions.
“I’m now pleading with my wife to undo her 'fix',” he said, according to Bulowaya24, a news source. “I can pay her two cows.”
A doctor friend told me that this curse is easy to implement. You just tell a guy he has erectile dysfunction and 20 to 40 per cent of guys immediately get it.
Now I’m feeling hungry and I’m going to go eat pasta.
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IN OTHER NEWS…
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IT HAS JUST been revealed that the world’s worst paid workers are two women worked for 40 years cleaning toilets in southern India for US$3 a year. I felt really sorry for Akku and Leela Sherigar until I got to the next sentence in the October 22 Daily Mail report:
“And for the last 11 years they worked for free following a dispute with their employer.”
This is frankly the most bizarre salary negotiation tactic I have ever encountered. “Dear boss, we have worked for you for free for ten years, and we are going to keep the pressure on by working for free for another year. Take that.”
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A JUDGE last week told disgraced French investment banker Jerome Kerviel that he has to pay back all of the US$6 BILLION that he lost. Whoah, someone’s going to have to cut back on the designer coffees. That could take MONTHS, seriously.
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SEVENTY EARTHWORMS were married in an elaborate wedding in Taiwan sponsored by greenies last month. Romance among earthworms is easy, since all earthworms are both male and female, just like 1970s pop singers.
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A WOMAN whose husband died before they could have their official wedding ritual married his corpse recently. (For those reading this from outside Asia, this sort of thing happens a lot in this region.)
Chudki Hembrom, 30, of Bihar, India, last week made vows and put red powder on the dead man’s forehead just before he was cremated, according to a Press Trust of India report.
I wonder if there was a “till death us do part” section in her vows, and if so, how she reacted? “Yeah, yeah, I think we can skip that part.”
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I ENJOYED the comments on French politics from Grandpa and Chris under the previous post, and am happy to report that you guys are not the only Francophiles around here – Asia has a long love affair with all things French.
In fact, I wrote a whole post about it, which you can find here. And it includes a nice pic of Grandpa: now that should tempt everyone to click the link.
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