Careful with that bleach
WHEN SCRUBBING GREASE off your kitchen walls, always take care to avoid damaging any ancient Mayan art that might be under it.
That’s a top tip we learned from a recent National Geographic report about a family in Guatemala who cleaned their kitchen and found priceless Mayan frescos on the walls.
This true story was sent in by aggrieved reader Varsha Puri, who said: “My uncle spends hours with a metal detector looking for treasure, so it seems unfair that these guys find stuff right there in their kitchen.”
I agree 100 per cent. Life is SO unfair!
After an unpublished manuscript from author Hans Christian Anderson was found down the back of a sofa (another true story) I poked around in mine, to find nothing more than a fossilized French fry, which one of my kids tried to eat, arguing that it was “probably still good”. The dog also wanted it, and I hope won the tug-of-war that followed.
The report about the rediscovered Mayan art resonated with me, because I am moving house. We formed a chain to pass cardboard boxes to the removal guys.
But after thirty boxes, I noticed that the next batch of cartons had a different removal company brand name. With horror I realized they were boxes which had remained unopened since our previous house move!
Even more eyebrow-raising was the fact that the remaining boxes bore other company names: cartons probably unopened from
the move before
the move before
the move before
the move before
the move before
the move before this one.
Why do we stupid modern consumers pay VAST SUMS to removal companies to lug unwanted, untouched garbage from place to place? Wouldn’t it be easier to simply stay in one place and burn our life savings?
Last night I was at the bar talking about unwanted junk, when the guy next to me told me about a woman who found her ex-boyfriend in the attic.
A September 11 UPI report said a North Carolina woman found a guy she had broken up with 12 years earlier living in her attic. The report said: “She does not know how long the man had been staying there.”
Okay, now that made me really nervous about cleaning out old storerooms.
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PRINCE HARRY has just been sent to the war in Afghanistan four months.
When my kids misbehave I send them to their rooms for 20 minutes. I need to ratchet up my punishments. “Hit your sister again and you’re on the FRONT LINES of the Syrian insurgency for A YEAR.”
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TALKING OF parenting, a woman was accidentally shot in the head by her 11-year-old son, it was reported earlier this month by media in the US state of Tennessee. She was then arrested for “child neglect” for letting it happen! Before I read that I thought I was having a bad day. Now everything seems just fine.
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NORTH KOREAN leader Kim Jung-un recently visited a gym, the UK Daily Telegraph reported. Kim told office workers to “take exercise and receive medical treatment” so they can “devote themselves to revolutionary work in good health". Why is this sallow-faced porky kid in a baggy uniform giving out fitness tips? Who’s gonna listen?
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THIS IS a wonderful animated history of aviation, found by Grandpa:
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