5. “She promised me that the pictures were STRICTLY for her personal online photo page, something called ‘Facebook’.”
4. “I wear my Nazi uniform. People complain. I take my Nazi uniform off. People complain.”
3. “No-one told me the Vegas promise doesn’t apply to Kings and Princes.”
2. “If you can’t trust random strangers who can you trust?”
1. “Underling! I need my crown NOW. What do you mean you didn’t pack it?”’
(The pix: normally we wouldn’t print rude pix, but you one doesn’t actually SEE rude bits in these images, so we thought we would risk small blurry versions of them…)
The really shocking thing: He and a lady friend are naked and what is he doing? WATCHING TV.
Best tweets seen today:
Prince Harry's antics blamed on broken home, family living off taxpayers, growing up on estates & time spent in institutions.—@vodkaboris
What are British rules on succession if Prince Harry gets a Vegas pool girl pregnant?—@ClayTravisBGID
Prince Harry's a single man and a squaddie. When it said 'shocking photos', I imagined him in a vegan cafe reading Sartre—@karlminns
I hope Prince Harry hopes he knows he's made his father proud. Whoever that is. @eddo75
The question no one seems to be asking about Prince Harry is: 'strip BILLIARDS '?!! What the f*** is this 1850?! @UnnamedInsider
Imagine if Prince Harry was the king and Boris Johnson was the prime minister. It'd be like living in an episode of Blackadder. @NickHide
All these ignorant people criticizing Prince Harry's behaviour. If you don't approve, just don't vote for him. @AdamBloom
MAKE SURE you log on from next Monday – when this site will be back in full operation, holidays over—and save up lots of good jokes and funny lines please!