A NEW TV talent show has been launched in which singing, dancing, music and women are banned. These four things are deeply evil, say the producers of Buraydah’s Got Talent. How perceptive.
Instead, the Saudi Arabian show features male contestants delivering religious chants, thrilling the judges, who will no doubt exclaim: “Abdul, you nailed it, I was totally almost tapping my feet there.”
Hardest job in the world: Selling Buraydah’s Got Talent to overseas TV channels. “Buy this and your whole country will come to a standstill as excited citizens wait to see if the winner is this chanting bearded guy or that chanting bearded guy.”
Still, having acted as judge at several talent shows in Asia, chanting bearded guys are not the worst thing out there.
That title would be reserved for parents who think their nine-year-olds are the next Lady Gaga and dress them in appropriate (i.e. inappropriate) costumes.
Yet one has to admire the way the Buraydah folk localized the show and hope others are inspired to do the same.
Beijing’s Got Talent: Entrants, all bespectacled men aged 80 to 200, each have to silence an elderly dissident within a set time.
Myanmar’s Got Talent: Entrants, all military generals, have to lose elections and lock up the winners.
Moscow’s Got Talent: The only entrant allowed, Mr Putin, has to find believable excuses to take his shirt off at international summits. “Goodness me, it’s hot in here.”
IN OTHER NEWS…..
CHINA FOR the first time sent a woman into outer space on Saturday. See what happens if you refuse to have an abortion?
MORE THAN 100 coffins found in Bulgaria contain skeletons pierced with stakes to stop them leaving their graves and terrorizing living people, archeologists reported last week. Vampires? Telemarketing salesmen? You decide.
MY EUROPEAN friends were last month boasting about their sexual sophistication. While leaders in Asia and the Americas must adhere to the highest standards of society’s morals, the guy just elected to run France is associated with two women, and is married to neither. He lives with one, while the other is mother to his four children.
It did sound rather daring and sophisticated. I’m sure Asian and North American leaders were rather jealous.
Until last week.
Paris newspapers revealed that the two women are at war with each other and the man between them can’t manage his own family, let alone a country.
It’s true what they say: The best thing about polygamy is having two women; the worst thing about polygamy is the same.
INCIDENTALLY, our experts have noticed that the two women, Valerie and Segolene, are actually THE SAME WOMAN.
Look what happens when we overlay the two pictures together. Francoise Hollande has actually married the same woman TWICE.
He has basically married a slightly younger looking version of his original wife. Wonder how long he can keep doing that?
THEY SAY Kanye West is getting ready to propose to Kim Kardashian. Better dust off the trophy for “World’s Most Annoying Family.” Suddenly I find myself in favor of forced sterilization. Let’s hope they move to China.
“Hi, I’m Lindsay Lohan, the famous substance-abusing movie star who has crashed numerous cars and my career. Can I borrow your Porsche?”
“Sure! What could go wrong?”