A JUDGE heard a dispute between TWO GODS in Asia last week. I’d like to see a Western judge do that. They have a hard enough time dealing with people who think they’re gods.
Anyway, Justice Dev Darshan Sud’s ruling in India last week solved a “bad karma” problem that had been running for years.
The two gods, Shringa Rishi and Balu Nag, had been arguing since 1971 about their positions in a centuries-old procession of 200-plus deities, the Indo-Asian News Service reported.
(Kullu pic from here)
To keep the peace, fed-up organizers banned both gods from the procession, leaving their respective communities in the Kullu Valley, better known as Devbhoomi, or Land of the Gods, feeling bereft of good karma.
But last week the judge at the Himachal Pradesh High Court sorted it out, giving Shringa Rishi the number two spot and Balu Nag “the role of the younger brother” in third place.
The gods did not comment, although their supporters had plenty to say, none of which I can be bothered to include. I heard all this from reader Gauri Singh, who said: “This is sort of crazy story is why I live in Asia. Who wants to live in a material world?”
Cool that a judge can solve supernatural disputes.
Could Justice Dev Darshan Sud be persuaded to deal with others, I wonder?
For example, there’s a ghost named Okiku at Himeji Castle in Japan, who rises from a well at night, counts to nine, and then shrieks. It’s kind of a naff sort of haunting unless you know the full story. Okiku was a maid executed for breaking a plate, one of a set of ten.
Solution: Judge could decree that nine-piece place settings are officially superior to 10-piece settings on earth and in the afterlife.
Then there’s the sea goddess Roro Kidul in Java, Indonesia, who drowns any tourist who wears her sacred color, green.
Solution: The judge could make green bikinis illegal in both realms.
In fact, a judge who sorts out disputes involving superhuman beings could be a neat TV series.
But he’d have to avoid dealing with people who just THINK they’re superhuman. Yes, I’m talking about you, Donald Trump.
A MEMBER of the paparazzi last week claimed to have been beaten up by JUSTIN BIEBER! Yeah, right, and then Hello Kitty kicked him in the face and took his wallet.
A YOUNG lady named Justine Elizabeth wrote on Facebook: “Illiturate people are really making me mad.”
You go, girl. Smack them illiturates without mersi.
New generation writers often present us with puzzles.
RELATED TALE: A girl called Lexa told internet readers about a visit she had just had from a young man. She lamented:
All I can smell is his colon
I really REALLY hope this was a misprint for “cologne”.
That’s nothing compared to probably the all time greatest political spelling mistake. In 2010, a candidate for governor had his name misspelled on voting machines in black neighborhoods in Chicago. Richard Whitney was accidentally spelled "Rich Whitey".
Yeah, he probably lost a few votes.
HONG KONG advertising executive KK Tsang commented last week that many people on this side of the world still use pounds and inches instead of kilos and centimeters. Or as a friend of mine puts it: “I wouldn’t touch the metric system with a 3.048m pole.”
A READER sent in a Zen thought for the day: “If you aim to fail and succeed, what have you done? Failed or succeeded?”
Hurts my brain to think about it.
Instead, I’m going to go and do some other high-minded journalistic activity, like getting beaten up by those two mega-bruisers, Justin Bieber and Hello Kitty.
OKAY, TODAY’S question: Do you believe in ghosts? Have you ever seen one?