OOPS. A MAN WHO was late for his own wedding last week saw his bride being married to someone else.
The groom, whose name was Jameel, was all set to marry fiancé Nagma at a ceremony in the Muradnagar area of Ghaziabad, India, according to a report forwarded by reader Naz Syed.
The bride was ready to rock at 10.30 am, but Jameel and his family didn’t make it to the venue until 6 pm.
The bride’s family, furious, punished them by marrying off Nagma to a wedding guest, according to India’s NDTV website.
I can just imagine the conversation.
BRIDE: “You’re late!”
GROOM: “Yeah, sorry, traffic was insane.”
BRIDE: “Just for that, I’m going to marry that guy over there instead.”
THAT GUY: “Yeah. Wait. What?”
This sort of thing happens A LOT in South Asia.
Single guys attending weddings should always take a gold ring and a male trousseau just in case.
Indian families are used to this sort of surprise.
MOM: “How was your day, dear?”
SON: “Nothing special. Did some homework, hung out at the coffee shop, got married.”
YES, LOVE is tricky. When reader Chris Huber of Hong Kong was asked for his “relationship status” by Facebook, he was given the following options:
- In a relationship
- It’s complicated
In a flash he saw the story of his life.
He typed: “All of the above, in that exact order.”
WE HAVE a spectacular new entry for our dumb criminals file. Michael Cooke, 53, last week robbed a shop in Potomac, US, but forgot to take the money, police said.
Luckily the shop staffer was a secret henchman and ran out of the shop to hand over the sack of loot.
Detectives arrested both. But here’s the question. Who was dumber? Should this be a joint award?
TALKING OF dumb, did you see the report about Taliban commander Mohammad Ashan?
He marched up to US forces in Afghanistan with a “wanted” poster of himself and demanded the US$100 reward.
“Is this you?” A soldier asked.
“Yes, yes,” he replied. “That’s me. Can I get my reward now?”
An official said: “This guy is the Taliban equivalent of the Home Alone burglars.”
THE DUTCH electronics company Philips last week launched a light bulb that lasts 20 years.
Knowing my luck, mine will go out in 19 and I’ll have to take it back to the shop.
“Hello, sir. I know this is a Sri Lankan restaurant, and used to be a Chinese laundry, but a couple of decades ago it was a corner store run by a guy named Nguyen who owes me money on this light bulb. Can you help?”
A GROUP OF US presidential security staff are in big trouble after they were caught partying with prostitutes.
No doubt they will soon face the most serious misdemeanor charge possible in America, which is “acting like an Italian Prime Minister.”
MEGAN FOX, the air-headed mega-babe from the first two Transformers movies, is pregnant, a Hollywood source tells me. She’s expecting a mega-bot with nice curves and twin-transistors. Just a guess.
YES I AM feeling very silly today. If you see anything wacky in the news in your district, send it in! Email address on the right hand side of the screen near the top, or just add it to the comments.