Movie star Rajni reaches your computer using celebrity power only
A MAGICAL website has been launched in Asia which can be accessed without an internet cable. Your computer connects to it via an invisible beam of Celebrity Power.
The site, launched by fans of Bollywood star Rajnikanth, is pretty neat. I tried it. You go to allaboutrajni.com and you see a screen that advises you to pull the cable out of the back of your computer. Only after you have done that, the website opens up with the words “Aye Macha” (“yo, buddy” in Chennai-Tamil slang) and you can access the rest of the pages using “RajniPower”.
If you stick the cable back in your computer, the site stops working, although you can access the rest of the Internet.
I can see this idea being hijacked by the government of China, who will TOTALLY love it.
They can just use the technology to put up their own website and then make internet cables illegal throughout the country.
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For anyone who doesn’t know Rajnikanth, he’s the South Asian equivalent of East Asia’s Jackie Chan, except he’s more superhuman, akin to Chuck Norris in America.
People in the US are constantly making one-liners about Chuck Norris’s feats of power, like this:
“When Chuck Norris misspells a word, the Oxford Dictionary revises its version to match Chuck’s.”
Or this:
“Chuck Norris has only ever been wrong once, and that was when he thought he had made a mistake.”
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Similarly, South Asians make Rajnikanth jokes. Here are four recent ones:
1) “If Rajnikanth had been born 150 years ago, it would have been the British who would have had to fight for independence.”
2) “One day, Rajnikanth decided to share one per cent of his knowledge with the world. Thus, Wikipedia was born.”
3) “When Rajnikanth gave a check to a bank, the bank bounced.”
4) “Did you hear about the time Rajnikanth went into a McDonald’s and demanded a masala dosa? To express the corporation’s shame at not stocking this, a statue of Ronald McDonald sits on a bench outside each branch.”
(Rajni without his make-up)
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TALKING OF CELEBS, the hot news in that sector is a National Enquirer article which says that irritating, air-headed Khloe Kardashian is the daughter of O.J. Simpson.
Surely that warrants a doubling of his jail sentence?
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THERE’S A neat new Facebook app that will post a final status update for you after you die. I’ve already programmed mine:
“Status update: I just died! Bother. The plan was for me to live to 120, at which time I would be shot dead by a jealous husband.”
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Talking of witty deaths, a reader tells me there’s a gravestone in the US town of La Pointe, Wisconsin, which says:
To the memory of Abraham Beaulieu
Born 15 September 1822
Accidentally shot 4th April 1844
As a mark of affection from his brother.
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SCIENTISTS LAST week announced that they had detected a subatomic particle so small it could only be seen with the most powerful instruments.
There’s much debate about what to call it.
My suggestion: “Rupert Murdoch’s Conscience”.
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TO GO BACK to where we started, I kinda like the fact that South Asian culture is starting to spread around the world. Did anyone see the Bollywood movie 3 Idiots? It was a huge hit in Hong Kong among other places. If so, what did you think?
Have a great weekend!
