A READER WHO was stabbed owes his life to his flab. Stephen Durie, a pastor, was attacked by a villain with a knife which went several centimeters into his left side. “If I had been thin it would probably have penetrated my chest cavity,” he told me.
Stephen shared his story in response to a report in this column on Monday last week about a man who survived a being shot when his pot belly caught the bullet.
Reader Chaminda Da Silva commented: “Now I know why two-thirds of the US population is obese. It’s a natural way of protecting them from the guns all over the place.”
But be warned. Reader Jason Teng, formerly in the army, warned that most pot bellies would be too soft to work as bullet-proof vests. You’d have to eat “a diet of rusty nails and broken dishes” to develop “a pot belly of steel”, he said.
A doctor I called for a comment admitted that if you were fat, your flab could, in theory, make it difficult for bad guys to stab you to death or kill you with low-velocity bullets.
“But doctors generally don’t recommend getting hugely fat as a way of increasing your personal security,” she added.
A plus-sized reader who did not want her name in print thanked me for adding a sixth item (“Impervious to knife-attackers or gunmen”) to her list of:
Five Good Things About Being a Fat Person.
1) “More fun to cuddle.”
2) “No wrinkles.”
3) “People like me for my wit and charm, not for my looks.”
4) “Having said that, fat women have astonishing boobs.”
5) “Would survive longer without food.”
Meanwhile, Stephen, who is based in Macau, said the stabbing happened a few years ago. Today he is good health, although still slightly overweight.
Last time he visited a clinic, the doctor told him that he would probably live longer if he lost a few pounds.
“Life is so ironic,” Stephen sighed.
TALKING OF criminal activity, boxer Mike Tyson was asleep in his hotel bedroom when an intruder opened the locked door and entered the room, I read in a celebrity news magazine last week. What a terrifying thing to happen! I just hope the burglar got out of the room again without having a heart attack. Poor guy.
THOUGHT FOR the day: What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
THE HOT new gadget for 2012 has been revealed by the tech websites: the voice-controlled TV. (Pressing the button on a remote control is apparently too much like hard work for modern people).
Now you just open your mouth and tell the TV to switch channels and it reacts instantly.
Downside: if you accidentally say a rude word in front of the sound-operated TV, such as “O poop”, does it switch to The Bachelorette?
SNOOP DOGG (full name Snoop Doggy Dogg) was arrested last week after a drug-sniffing dog smelled marijuana on his tour bus in Texas. How appropriate: a snooping dog catches Snoop Dogg. Will the furious rap star change his name? Kick Dogg? Eat Dogg? How about Shoot Doggy Dogg?
STILL VERY quiet in Hong Kong and most of East Asia, judging by my mailbag.
You can actually do things (such as step on to the pavement) without queuing! Woo hoo.
Empty Hong Kong street pic below by Tammy Hu:
Below is a picture of Hong Kong normally:
(pic by Hamedog, CC 3.0 license)
Anyway, to get back to where we started and end on a positive note, it occurs to me that we should all be nice to fat people for the same reason that we should nice to old folk. As the years go by, nearly all of us become them….