BOFFINS HAVE CREATED a bracelet that detects emotions in stockbrokers. This is astonishing. Stockbrokers have emotions? No way. The ones I know would scoff at the suggestion.
Anyway, the thing works like this. Brokers stick the EmoBracelet on their wrists and a receiver placed near their monitor flashes red if it detects a feeling.
The broker stops selling stocks and takes a deep breath until they turn back into heartless machines.
STOCKBROKER: “I urge you to put your life savings into Obvious Fraudster Co Ltd. Heh heh heh.”
OLD LADY: “Are you sure it’s 100 percent safe? Remember, I AM your mother.”
STOCKBROKER: “Ah. Er. Um.”
EMOBRACELET: “BEEP BEEP BEEP! TRACE OF GUILT DETECTED.”
STOCKBROKER: “Hang on a minute while I take deep breaths, mom. Haaah. Haaah. Haaah. Okay, I’m fine now. Yes, mom, it’s 100 percent safe. Heh heh heh.”
I heard about this from top Italian designer Stefano Marzano, whose team at Philips, the Dutch appliance firm, invented it. Stefano, a cool dude who turned up wearing a white jacket in a room full of businessmen wearing black jackets, also told us about other fabulous inventions his group had come up with.
My favourite was a globular appliance which you stick on your bedside table. The thing is dark at night but gradually gets lighter as the day breaks until it shines brightly, waking you up. “No one likes being woken by an alarm clock,” he said.
Neat idea. However, I already have such an appliance at home. I call it the sky. It's dark at night and gently gets brighter every morning. I keep it just outside my bedroom window. You may have seen it.
HERE ARE SOME talking points from readers, starting with my colleague Wyng Chow, who said: “Isn't it rather ironic that Taiwan is now taking the holier-than-thou attitude of rejecting looted relics? Virtually all the hundreds of thousands of Chinese relics proudly on display at Taipei's National Palace Museum were stolen from Beijing by the Kuomintang.”
Wyng likes to refer to Kuomintang leader Chiang Kai Shek as “Cash-My-Cheque".
READER VINCE ALCALDE disagreed with the view that celebrities should be above the law: “Given that most celebrities are insane, they already have a ready-to-use escape hatch anyway.”
READER ANGELA SIAS had a warning to petite Asians visiting Europe. The place is built for tall people. “Stepping into a bus, I realized to my horror that I could not reach the hand grab. When the driver braked, the only thing I could do was grab the waist of the passenger next to me. Luckily for me, he didn't mind the free hug.”
Warning to other short Asians: Do not try this if you are male and the person standing next to you is not.
THIS CONVERSATION WAS overheard between two readers.
Joshua Samuel Brown: “Can we talk about my obsessive compulsive disorder? Please? PLEASE? PLEEEAASE?”
Emily Oinen: “Not until you wash your hands seven times, check to see if the stove is on, and turn every light in the house off and on again.
READER THOMAS SIEFERT shared some wisdom on dating: “Women use sex to get love. Men use love to get sex.”